I talked to my Aunt today, and she told me that she's meeting with someone to try to get my grandma into the Hospice House.

Alexander Cohen Hospice House

This place is AMAZING. It's not the typical hospital setting. I don't know if this is something that is in other places other than in California .. which is why I included the link. You've got to see this place.

And .. if her insurance doesn't cover it .. it's free for her. Which is a blessing. Right now they're looking at spending $4000 a month for her to be able to stay in the nursing home she's in right now. Which IMO, is horrible. It actually makes me mad.

My aunt told me today that she thinks my grandma has given up. Which, I can't say that I blame her. I can't imagine how hard it is for her, day to day, to try to continue to fight a fight that she has no hope of winning. My aunt said that she's not eating, not necessarily because she doesn't want to (though that's part of it) but because she can't. She has sores all in her mouth and down her throat from the radiation treatments she had. She (my aunt) said that she has refused ALL of her medications. Her heart meds, her BP meds, everything. Occasionally she'll take a pain pill, but my aunt said even that's rare. She said that occasionally they'll get her to take a sip or two of water, but she won't take anything more than that.

She's refused to do TPN feedings. Again, I'm not too surprised. I know that she's ready for all of this to be over. She said that she's not afraid of what's coming, she knows what's happening to her, and she's ok with that. What she doesn't understand is why it's taking so long. So I think she's doing everything in her power to make it happen sooner.

As bad as this is going to make me sound, I'm actually relieved that's she's finally given up. I hate to think about her being in so much pain, and being so sick. I hate it. And to know that she was fighting something that she has NO chance at all of beating, just boggled my mind. I didn't then, and I still don't understand why she chose to fight for as long as she has. I guess that's not for me to know at this point.

I don't know (yes I'm saying this again) if anyone reads this or not, but if Hospice is available in your area, look into it. Look into volunteering, or donating. It's places like this that make it possible for someone in their dying moments to be comfortable. To be in a little less pain than they otherwise would be. Even if it's only one single dollar. It'll help more than you know. And you never know when the day might come that you or someone you love will benefit from a place like this.

I will forever be grateful for Community Hospice and the services that they provide. I've always been aware of it, and what they do, but I never really took the time to appreciate it. That's changed now.

Thank you for what you do. Thank you for taking the time out of your lives to make the life of someone else a little easier to live. Without you, these people would have to die in pain, and not peace.

Until next time ...

~A