I knew I'd have a problem with this one, but I had no idea that it would be this BIG of a problem.
I'm turning 30 in just 6 short days. I can't believe it. I can remember when I was younger .. and people who were 3o .. were REALLY old. I don't fell really old .. but I am. In my younger mind anyway. I don't know it's like in my head ... when I"m 30 ... I won't be able to do the same things anymore. I know that's stupid, and I can't properly convey the feelings like I want to. I guess that's another part of getting older. lol.
There's a lot about my life, now that I'm almost 30, that is exactly the way I would envision it when I was a little girl. I can remember people saying to me ... "Where do you see yourself being when you're 30 years old?" I would always say the same thing ... "Married to a wonderful man, and we'd have 3 children." I always wanted to be a wife and a mother. And that is exactly what I am. I'm married to a wonderful man, and we have 2 children. 2 beautiful girls. I couldn't ask or want for anything more. Though sometimes, my heartstrings ache for that 3rd child. But that's another day ...
I look back on the last 2 years of my life, and the things I did to try and better it. I went back to school. Which was a great experience. I finished and graduated with honors, and even obtained my Associates Degree. I'm so proud of myself. I'm the first in my family (meaning my immediate family) to go to college and get a degree. I'm the first on my mom's side (out of all my cousins) to go to college and get a degree. For this .. I am extremely proud of myself, as I'm sure is the rest of my family. However, now that I have close to 20 thousand dollars in school loans that I have to start paying back ... I have nothing except a bill each month to show for what I"ve accomplished. That's more than depressing.
Oh well .. I guess such is life. But why does it have to be mine? I don't understand sometimes.
So here I am ... 30 years old, piles of debt, a wonderful husband, and 2 beautiful children. Life doesn't always end up the way we picture it when we're kids ... but minus the age, and the bills .. I'm completely happy with mine.
Until next time ...
~A
